Inside, Pt. 1 Read online

  “Yeah, I doubt that…”

  “Where, exactly, would you be going?” my father asked.

  “There is a club that my entire school goes to called Club Archangel,” I explained. “They’re holding some kind of party for the new term—a welcome-back-to-school party.”

  “I heard about that club from Mrs. Grayson,” my mother nodded, turning to my father. “Apparently, all the kids go there at the end of each week to unwind and relax. It’s completely safe.”

  “It does sound like fun,” my father admitted, though he seemed reluctant to say so. I knew he was trying to protect me, and the thought of his seventeen-year-old daughter going to a club was not easy for him, as a father, to accept.

  “The club closes at ten-thirty, I’ll be back by curfew.”

  Even though I had insisted I would be alright and finally got him to agree to letting me go with my friends, I still did not want to go. Throughout Thursday I was quiet and brooding. All I could think about was how much I dreaded going to the club.

  I entertained the idea of saying that I didn’t feel well so I could stay at home and draw, or finish my homework, or something, doing the things I had always done on my non-social Friday nights.

  After school, when Jill and Taylor had gone to catch their buses, I caught Becca’s arm before she went to her own bus.

  “Wait, Becca.” She looked at me. By the expression on her face, it was obvious that my anxiety was showing.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Listen…I…I really am nervous about the club tomorrow…”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know…”

  “There’s nothing to be nervous about,” she assured. “Really. It’s just a gathering like school, only with loud music and flashing lights,” she grinned. I smiled but her words did nothing to ease my nerves. “It’s alright,” she assured. “I’ll be right there with you. We all will. You’re not going to be alone.”

  “But…” I shook my head, not sure what I was going to say or even what I could say for her to understand my anxiety.

  “Step out of your comfort zone a little,” Becca urged. “It’s alright to be nervous, but don’t let it stop you. You might actually have some fun. You’ll meet some of our other friends, too. They’ll help you out.”

  “You mean…there’s more?”

  “Yep. The boys. Taylor’s boyfriend and two of his friends. They’re all in honor’s track courses, so they’re too busy to hang out with us during a normal day. Friday is when we all get together.”

  I took in a deep, shaky breath.

  “Okay, how about this?” she started. “Try it out a couple times, and if you really hate it, we can think of something to get you out of it without making you the root of rumors.”

  “Really?”

  “Really,” Becca confirmed. She smiled and shook her head. “But I think once we get you there, you’ll have fun.”

  I took another deep breath, nodding even though I was not convinced.

  “Alright, so I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Becca smiled.

  “Wait, Becca, there’s one more thing.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t have anything to wear…”

  Becca’s face lit up and she smiled devilishly.

  “Oh, this is going to be fun…”

  * *** *

  Friday morning I woke up nervous and tense. I went through my morning routine, my mind distracted with anticipations of Club Archangel.

  I recalled the club scenes I had seen in movies. I had always thought of clubs as places where people hooked up to have sex in the back alleys of seedy neighborhoods. While I knew Club Archangel would not be the movie stereotype, it was difficult to get the image out of my head.

  I rode the bus to school hoping that I could focus on my classes and forget about the party, but as soon as I took my seat on the bus, I heard conversations about the party and what everyone was planning to wear, who they were going with, and all other manner of details that made my stomach twist. The party was already surrounding me and it was only eight in the morning.

  I met up with Taylor, Jill, and Becca at Jill’s locker, as was routine before class started. The three girls were far more enthusiastic about Archangel than I.

  “Are you excited for the party tonight?” Taylor grinned.

  I could only smile nervously in response.

  “Hey, so, let’s kinda stick together this time,” Becca suggested. “We want to make sure that Lily isn’t completely overwhelmed.”

  “Good idea,” Jill agreed. She turned to Taylor. “Are the boys going to be there?”

  “Yep, they’re meeting us at six.”

  “Great.”

  “One more thing,” Becca said, flashing the same devilish smile I had seen the previous day. “Lily doesn’t have any clubbing clothes. So, let’s meet at her house at five and get her ready. We’ll all bring something and see what fits her.”

  “Yes!” Jill exclaimed.

  “I’ll just bring makeup.” Taylor shrugged, turning to me. “I would bring my clothes, but none of my stuff will be small enough for your hot little body.”

  “What?” I barked a laugh.

  “She’s right,” Jill seconded. “When we’re done with you, you are going to look so sexy you’ll be beating the boys away.”

  As I went through my classes, I heard more and more about the party, increasing my concerns. I was thankful that my new friends were going to be with me, but the fact that I was going to be their dress-up doll was not so comforting.

  In Lit class we discussed the general history before the Second Revolution, as we had done for the past four days. I was unable to pay attention, even with our teacher’s enthusiastic manner.

  When class was over, Mr. McDermott spoke over the din of scraping chairs and opening book bags.

  “Okay, okay, hold on!” he called. “I know you all have a party at Archangel tonight, but do not forget to read the first chapter of J.A.N.E. this weekend. Alright? It’s really short, and it won’t take you long. Be sure you read it so that we can discuss it in class!” As his students filed out of the room, he shouted the last sentence. “Remember the oath you took!”

  The entire day was about the party. In every class, someone was talking about it. When I left class, the teachers would tell everyone to be careful that night and to do our homework. Lunch was spent explaining where my house was and what bus we were catching back home. Apparently, there was a free shuttle service to our neighborhoods once the club closed. I was surprised at how accommodating everything was for the students.

  I got home and hid in my room to agonize for two hours over the party. I tried to do my math homework but I could not concentrate, the butterflies tangling my stomach and stunting my productivity.

  Around four-thirty, my mom returned home and came to see me.

  “Hey, honey,” she said. I was laying on my bed, pretending to read a book. “Nervous about the party?” I groaned and placed the book over my face.

  “Yes…”

  “Oh, come on, now,” my mom laughed. “It won’t be bad, I promise. You’ll probably even have some fun.”

  “Is it bad that I don’t want to go?” I peeked at her from under the book. “That I’m horribly antisocial?”

  “No,” she assured. “You’re just a different kind of person, Lily. You don’t need all the noise and shiny things to amuse you. You are a quiet person.”

  “So I am horribly antisocial.”

  “No, I did not say that,” my mom said with a smile, taking the book off my face. “But it won’t hurt you to get out and experience something different. And, even if you don’t like it, at least you can say that you tried.”

  “It’s not that simple…” I groaned, moving to sit next to my mother.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m supposed to go to these parties, otherwise everyone thinks there is something wrong with me,” I told her. “It’s required of us to go.�
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  “Now, if you don’t want to go again, you don’t have to,” my mom chuckled. “That is your choice. Don’t let anyone force you to do something you don’t want to do.”

  “How long has it been since you were in school? Don’t you remember that it’s a game of survival?”

  My mom laughed and kissed my forehead.

  “I remember that I thought every little thing was so important. But as I got older, I look back and go, ‘wow, that really wasn’t that big of a deal.’ One day, you’ll do the same…”

  * *** *

  As promised, my friends appeared at five o’clock. My mom answered the door as I walked down to the foyer.

  All three girls dressed for the party. Becca was in a tight black halter top with skinny jeans, wedge heels and a decorative belt, her hair pulled back, emphasizing her dark makeup. Jill was dressed in a short, tight dress with a sheer panel across her belly and high boots. Taylor was in jeans and heeled boots with a halter top that glittered with several long necklaces.

  A wobbly smile came to my face as my mother turned to me.

  “Well, there she is. Are you girls going to make her up for the party?”

  “Yes, we are,” Jill said, lifting her two bags.

  “Good,” my mother said with a nod. “She’s never been one to doll herself up unless she has to.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Have fun with her.” My mother winked at the three girls.

  “Oh, we will,” Taylor assured with a mischievous grin.

  Becca grabbed my arm, dragging me toward the stairs.

  “Come on, you…”

  Taylor and Jill followed eagerly, giggling maniacally as we went to my room. They closed the door and Jill smiled evilly, leaning against the door to block me in.

  “Let us begin…”

  “Okay,” Becca started. “Everyone, put everything out on the bed and let’s see what we’ve got.”

  “Don’t I get to decide?” I whined.

  “No!” Taylor snapped with a smile, placing her makeup on the bed.

  “Why not?”

  “Because there is how you want to look, how you should look, and how you can look,” Taylor explained. “We’re going to show you how hot you can look.”

  “Oh, yes,” Becca gasped, grabbing a top Jill pulled out of her bag.

  “No!” I yelped. The black halter top had nothing covering the belly with a drape floating down the back, connected to the neck by a golden chain up the center of the back.

  “Hell yes!” Taylor agreed.

  “Okay, wear this…” Becca shoved the garment into my hands, “and I have some pants…” She rifled through her own bag and pulled out a pair of simple black pants. “Then we’ll use this belt.” She pulled out a chain belt with dangling ornaments from the loops.

  “Perfect!” Jill declared, handing me the other objects. “Now, change. Where are your shoes?”

  “Hold on a second,” I said, staring at the jumbled clothes in my arms. “Look, I appreciate what you’re doing, but—”

  “No, no buts,” Jill interrupted.

  “Honey, trust me, you’re going to look great,” Taylor assured. “You need to step out of your comfort zone.”

  “I agree,” Becca concurred. “Besides, I’m excited to see that hot little bod you’ve been hiding.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Jill leered. I groaned and rolled my eyes.

  “My shoes are in the closet on the bottom shelf.” I nodded to the door. “I’ll go change…”

  “No!” Jill snapped, pointing at me. “You are not allowed to see yourself in the mirror until we are completely finished!”

  “What?” I gaped. “Oh, come on!”

  “Nope! Strip!” Taylor said, snapping her fingers.

  I groaned, annoyed, nervous, and extremely self-conscious. I turned my back to them and slowly pulled my shirt over my shoulders, keeping my arms close to my chest as I scrambled to put the other top on.

  Once I had it over my head, I heard Taylor’s voice again.

  “Bra needs to come off, darling.”

  I carefully maneuvered my arms and unhooked my bra, pulling it from under the clothes. Once I had the top on, I took the pants and unfolded them before backing myself in a corner to shimmy my jeans off. Taylor laughed at my nervousness.

  “Hun, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. We’ve all got the same equipment.”

  I still kept myself in the corner, watching Jill and Becca rifle through my shoes. I hastily pulled the smooth, black slacks on only to realize the outer seam had a large slit from the bottom to the knee, leaving my entire calf exposed.

  “I cannot pull this off…”

  “Are you kidding me? They fit you like a glove,” Becca complimented, looking me over. I fastened the belt how I thought it should be done, trying to ignore the staring.

  “Perfect!” Jill gasped, pulling out a pair of red, strappy wedge heels I had to match my red formal dress.

  “Oh, no…”

  “Oh, yes…”

  “Taylor, are you on makeup?” Becca asked.

  “Yep!” Taylor grabbed her makeup kit and bounded over, kneeling in front of me as I sat in my desk chair.

  “I’m on hair!” Jill declared, walking to her bag and extracting her curling iron.

  I nervously sat as the three girls fussed over me, touching my face and pulling my hair, almost burning my ear twice and messing up on mascara when I flinched away.

  Thirty minutes later, five minutes before we had to leave, the girls backed away.

  “You look amazing…” Becca said, scanning me.

  “Put your shoes on and go look,” Jill urged.

  I leaned down and strapped myself into my shoes with shaking hands, thick curls of brown hair falling past my shoulders. I nervously approached my full-length mirror.

  I blinked.

  I didn’t look as bad—in fact, I didn’t recognize myself. My makeup had been done to look mostly natural, apart from my red lipstick and the red tones around my eyes to match my shoes. My hair had been curled, parted on one side to frame my face in a surprisingly flattering manner.

  “See what I mean?” Becca laughed, causing me to break out of my trance. I turned to look the slits in the pants, sucking in my belly as I studied my reflection.

  “You guys deserve a medal. You performed a miracle.”

  “No,” Jill disagreed. “There was a sex goddess inside you the entire time. It’s time for her to come out.”

  “Now, you’re ready for Archangel,” Taylor winked.

  “We’re really going to have to keep an eye on you,” Becca said. “Otherwise, every guy in town will be hitting on you.”

  Chapter Seven

  My friends continuously slapped my hands away from adjusting myself, whether it was my clothes or my hair. I didn’t feel comfortable in the clothing or the makeup, particularly with how often the other three commented on my appearance. Even my mother complimented how I looked.

  Jill’s father dropped us off in front of the club, which I studied intently. For what felt like a long time, I could only stare at the blue and white neon sign, listening to the music inside and watching the others from my school walk through the darkened doorway into the flashing lights. The sign was intricate and mysterious, beckoning everyone inside. I felt my legs turn to jelly and I wanted nothing more than to get back in the car and leave.

  Just when the urge became overwhelming, Becca had her hand on my shoulder.

  “No running away,” she shook her head. “Don’t worry. I told you, we’ll be right here.”

  Once inside Club Archangel, the sound of the music was deafening and the flashing lights were disorienting. Becca led me to the window where we were asked to present our school IDs. The cards were scanned and our purses were checked before we were let into the main room of the club.

  I had never seen anything like Club Archangel. It was dark in most areas and it was difficult to see just how large the place was. There were lar
ge, circular platforms raised from the floor throughout the room where groups of friends were dancing as the pulsing music rattled my chest. The lights flashed different colors as the strobe light kicked on and off. To one side there was a bar—I was assured that it only served non-alcoholic drinks—and over the bar was a large, metal balcony, where other students were chatting and bobbing their heads to the music. Across from the bar and balcony was a stage. The curtains were pulled shut and a large banner hung across the stage, reading “Welcome Back!” covered with streamers and balloons.

  “Hey! C’mon, Lily!” Taylor laughed, grabbing my arm and yanking me from my position by the door. I had been so entranced looking around at the loud and disorienting club that I hadn’t noticed my group of friends moving away. I followed Taylor’s guide toward the bar, where we sat at a tall table near one of the two metal staircases to the balcony.

  “So, what’d’ya think?!” Taylor asked over the pulsing music.

  I took a deep breath. “I don’t know…”

  “It’ll be overwhelming at first, but you’ll get used to it,” Jill assured. “The most important thing is to just have fun, and only dance with guys we have told you are okay.”

  “Oh, and don’t ever go on the balcony,” Taylor added, pointing at the grate metal above our heads. Confused, I asked why.

  “That’s for the Commish Kids,” Jill explained. “You can’t go up there unless you’re part of the Commission of the People.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s an unwritten rule.” Taylor shrugged. “They can come down here and dance, but if anyone who’s not in the Commission goes up there, they get real quiet and stare at you until you leave.”

  “They really are their own little society, then?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “Hello ladies…” a voice chuckled as a boy our age leaned against our table.

  “Hey, Todd,” Becca greeted.

  I saw two other boys behind Todd, though it was difficult to discern their features in the flashing lights. I assumed the three boys were the other friends Becca had mentioned.

  “Hey baby!” Taylor squealed, kissing Todd. Todd kissed back and stood straight, placing his arm around his girlfriend and turning to look around the table once more. When his eyes settled on me, I could feel my stomach flip. I hated being pegged as the new girl, particularly as far as boys were concerned.